WASHINGTON, D.C. – A tense battle between warring political parties erupted in Washington yesterday when Wall Street-backed Jihadist demands surfaced in the 1,600-page omnibus spending bill – threatening to first take the U.S. House of Representatives hostage, then all of America.
Intelligence services (obviously not Washington-based) initially identified the financial terrorists as Beltway lobbyists, but later revealed them to be a Big-Bank sleeper cell embedded in God-hating Dodd-Frank legislation, universally decried by the faithful as blasphemous.
In what was meant to be a stealth operation, the plastique-laden provision inserted into the bill aiming to roll-back certain Dodd-Frank rules, instead exploded prematurely.
And it shows us how financial terrorism continues to escalate…
A Growing Burden
The shape charge was supposed to destroy the regulatory safeguards forcing big banks to separate atomic derivatives trading operations from bank operations backed by U.S. Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. (FDIC) guarantees. Instead, it was detected by an Elizabeth Warren drone and, not-so-remotely, detonated.
Amidst screams of “All Of Big Banks Are Da Greatest” it was determined that the bankster-backed group’s spending-bill provision – which, if not passed, will shut down the government – was dangerous enough to exploded in public view.
From an undisclosed location – believed to be a cavern deep beneath Wall Street – unnamed sources (who said they weren’t authorized to speak on behalf of their lying, cheating, greedy monster masters) who were later identified as Citigroup foot-soldiers, claimed the provision was only meant to improve the economy and that Dodd-Frank “does absolutely nothing to create a safer financial system.” They also alleged the derivatives regulation instead creates “undue costs and burdens on U.S. financial firms.”
At stake in the stand-off is the future of the U.S. financial system.
With hostages being held on both sides, it remains to be seen if demoralized and deluded Democrats have the will and guts to tear a page from the bible of their Republican pulpit-pounding counterparts and threaten to shut down the government themselves.
Sadly for the American people – who don’t know there are still trillions of dollars of bankster IEDs (improvised explosive derivatives) planted along all our economic highways and byways – the standoff in Washington may appear as just another hostage situation that may or may not matter.
The truth is, financial terrorism always matters.