There is No “Book” on Being a Father

0 | By Shah Gilani

[Editor’s Note: On Friday, Shah delivered his insights on today’s Greek vote – and what it means for the rest of Europe – to his Capital Wave subscribers. He even had three new “buy” recommendation based what he thinks is going to happen. Hope you got them. If you happened to miss Friday’s alert, you can find it online at our subscriber-only website,]

Let’s face it: Father’s Day isn’t nearly as big a deal as Mother’s Day.

There are probably some good reasons for that. For one thing, our fathers don’t carry us around in their bodies for nine months or go through childbirth.

For another, fathers tend to not be around as much as mothers.

I’m not talking about fathers who abandon their families altogether. Let’s not go there. I’m talking about fathers who sacrifice to give their families the best lives they can.

They are real heroes. But we don’t always see it that way.

Sometimes kids blame their fathers for not being around enough because they’re working so hard. And when those kids grow up, they too often resent their fathers for not being there.

I see that a lot, especially these days, when things aren’t easy and work is too often hard to come by.

And I’ve heard a lot from my friends over the years that their fathers weren’t around because they were working and they always seemed tired and had little time for their kids when they got home, or on weekends, when they tended their homes and gardens.

My father wasn’t around a lot either. And as I grew up, we grew further and further apart.

It wasn’t until I realized how hard I was working myself that I actually understood what it takes to make a living. Taking care of your family by always being there for them, too, is no easy feat.

The truth is, you can’t be in two places at once, even though sometimes you have to be.

There is no road map to leading your family to perfect happiness. There is just no “book” you can buy on being the perfect parent. There are only books yet to be written and roads left to be travelled.

Now, years later, I realize how lucky I am to have my father and how lucky I am to be able to spend time with him. These days, we make time for each other.

My father is 95 and plays golf. He just had his second knee replaced so he could keep playing golf, because that’s where we spend time together. And it’s there, on the golf course, that I see my father enjoying whatever time he has left with the son he wished he’d had more time for when we were both younger.

But there’s no going back; there’s only today and the promise of tomorrow, maybe.

I’ve grown out of my resentment that my father wasn’t there enough for me and grown into understanding it and coveting every day we do have together.

So today, we’ll work on our golf games together, and at the 19th hole, with a pair of extra-well-chilled martinis in hand, I’ll say to him…

“Happy Father’s Day.”

Enjoy your day.


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